The Good Guys
You heard it before. “Where are all the good guys? They’re all taken, too young, too old, too-something!” I’ve been guilty of it. But lately I’ve been getting tired of hearing girls say it over and over… and over. Sure many guys I know, who are supposedly born again, don’t seem to be interested at all in being the type of man God redeemed them to be. But should us single, born again young women simply spend our time bemoaning the fact, or should we get up, shut up and help our guys be one of the “good guys”? I believe the reason there are so few of them to be found is that us girls don’t require them to be men of God in order to be in a relationship with us. We settle. I think this has gone on long enough. Here are a few of the lies girls believe about guys and relationship.
1) My standards are too high. If you come into a relationship with certain convictions, you need to question yourself as to why you have them. If we’ll be honest with ourselves, we can admit that they probably came as prompts from the Holy Spirit. I look at convictions as being similar to the “reduce speed” signs in a school zone. They may seem like they’re taking you through your relationship at an agonizingly slow pace, but they do give you the time to stop completely before you meet with a collision. Maybe you have guidelines with what constitutes as appropriate conversation. Getting too close emotionally can be just as dangerous as letting the physical side get out of hand. In fact, for us girls, its probably worse because the closer emotionally we get to a guy, the easier it is for us see getting closer physically. In short, stick to your guns! Its a massive mistake when we chose not to listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Ephesians 4:30 says:
And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
And listen to what convictions he has. He knows his limits and you don’t want to be a stumbling block to him.
2) I’m not good enough for a “good guy”. Another lie some girls have told me they believe, is that because past relationships weren’t what they should have been, they can’t demand a higher standard from anyone henceforth. Not true. When you confess and repent of sinful relationships, its done. God says in Romans 1:8:
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.
Sin is sin is sin. God is grieved just as much by me gossiping about others, as He is by another child of his who has slept with people outside of marriage. Its all dirty rags compared to His Holiness. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says:
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
Don’t let anyone hold your past over your head. Your new life has begun, and if the God of the Universe has said you’re forgiven- its over, done!
3) What I wear and how I act doesn’t make that much of a difference. I’m sorry but if you think that wearing a micro miniskirt or a low cut top is ok, and its the guys’ problem if they struggle, then you are a short-sighted, selfish woman and you need to repent! God made men to be visually stimulated by women. Heck, in Proverbs, He even told the guys to always be satisfied with wifey’s boobs and to always be captivated with her love. He created even us girls to swoon over beautiful eyes, a great smile and some well-defined muscles! But for guys, its not an easy thing to keep pure thoughts when us girls just walk around in whatever the hell we please. I’m sorry if you don’t like my language, but I’m trying to make a point. We need to value the word “beautiful”. We are way too accepting of the term “hot” or “sexy”. The definition of beautiful is “having QUALITIES that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see or hear or think about”. The definition of sexy is “provoking or intending to provoke sexual interest”. Do you see the difference? We have no right to “provoke or intend to provoke sexual interest” in our brothers-in-Christ. It will cause them to stumble and the Bible is pretty clear on that issue. 1 Corinthians 10:32:
Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—Pretty much covers everyone. So, girls, cover up. Quit being selfish and realize that the way you dress does have an affect on the guys you are around. Its a fact of life. Also, we need to watch our flirting. Not gonna lie, I do it. I don’t think its a sin. But we do have to guard our hearts. I’ve seen several girls flirt their hearts out one night with a guy, and later on be in the bathroom, sobbing, heart-broken (supposedly) because she thought the flirting meant more than it really did. The Proverbs 31 woman conducts herself with dignity. I think dignity is a lost concept in our generation. Let’s bring it back.
It says in James 1:17:
Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.
He has your perfect match. Actively wait for God’s choice for your life. Learn to cook. Pay bills. Do your job faithfully. Make spending time with God a priority. Volunteer somewhere. Instead of having a perpetual pity-party over the seeming lack of “good guys”, lets get out there and be the woman who attracts the “good guy” that God has for us.
